Time for Oakland’s Crime & Pimpin’ Olympics! We could have:
- Find a Mayor Up to Some Good, Or Possibly Working
- Put out a porta potty fire
- Be a human shot spotter in the Eastmont Mall parking lot
- Speed portrait painting of prostitutes by San Pablo McDonald’s
- Timed scavenger/treasure hunt at all 100+ 2008 murder sites
- Duck and cover from the chrome wheels
- Find a Tree Without Graffitti
- Measure the black tinting in my windshield
- Count shell casings on my block at night with the lights off
- Turn these empty cartridges into necklaces for sale in RR or Uptown
- Convince your neighbors we have a crime problem taboo/charades
- Fill the water coolers in City Hall with every Koolaid flavor
- Drive your neighborhood drug dealer caught in the act to Montana to be processed at the nearest county jail and fill out his paperwork before falling asleep
- Find a “safe” beat in Oakland not too far uphill or filled with hipsters
- Run away from the muggers three-legged race
- Catch the garden hose thief
Now who will help me “bake the bread”? Ho ho ho–a low blow, you say?
This reminds me of an epiphany I had today. We had a housing atm bubble, zero down for 60 months auto bubble, and bankster bubble… to go with that we also had a jobs bubble… which leads me to conclude that our peak oil bubble also produced a human population bubble. Charming thoughts.
Job bubble photo below, from Mish’s Global Economic Banalisys.
For the record, I don’t consider vice to be in the same category as violent crime or property crime.